WTF moments vol. 1

Well the votes are in and it looks like Sketchy Interactions Won the poll. So here they are. Heavy on the sketchy with a side of OMG!
WTF moments vol. 1

Sonogram picture lying in the gutter

Women with baby attached to her breast using no hands while getting onto the bus( more shocking if you see it in action) like how was the baby staying on to that?

Man on the side of the road drinking from his gas tank.

Being told that the Anti-Christ has come several times a day.

Mentally unstable women first asked me and my friend for money than took her shirt off in the middle of the street and tried to sell it to us.

BOTH times my matatu was stopped by the cops, first time there was a small chase but it didn’t last long, the cops blocked the bus and then the driver tried to pretend it was my bus and he was a hired driver, this was the point where everyone( including me) starts to exit the bus rather quickly. Second time was a routine bribery stopping. Note( cops here carry riffles, really big mean looking ones, and they carry them on their arms facing up, which means if you are walking near them the gun points at your face. Lovely)

Street boy spooning with a stray dog: Really more poignantly endearing, than shocking.

Being asked by strangers if I would like to have an “obama”

Sketchy night clubs play 90s prom dance music, and decorate in the same fashion.

On the ferry coming back to the island, the ferry breaks, stuck in the middle for an hour trying to get the second ferry to tow it to the other side. (this ferry is 50 years old and wasn’t even replaced when the third ferry capsized and killed 120 people 5 years ago. They say taking the ferry is tempting your fate)

The posters in the matatus (buses) mix of super Christian messages plastered over half naked pictures of Alicia Keys

Everything written in the news paper! Especially science article on why circumcised people are less likely to get HIV( NOT True) Article was entitled how to save your marriage.

And last but not least, signs advertising the benefits of Corporal Punishment in primary school. Canning=Learning !

This has been vol. 1 of WTF moments in Kenya. Stay tuned for updates.

And on the Lighter Side…

At a four year old's birthday party I learned some interesting cultural customs that I think would be helpful for other to know about in case they find themselves in the same situation. Number one: the birthday girl is expected to hand feed each guest a piece of cake, this can become rather precarious when the girl is turning four and using a fork does not come naturally in this culture. Number two: a picture must be taken for every single persons turn to have cake shoved in their mouth. Number three: it is a common practice to spread icing all over the children’s faces, in seemingly intricate and well planned designs. Number Four: Try not to taste the cake. Number Five: Always assume someone will want you to make a speech before you are allowed to leave any event, even birthday parties. Number Six: Prepare interesting things to say during said surprise speech so you don’t embarrass yourself in front of six girls in party hats. Number Seven: Leave before the sugar rush hits and never look back.

Various Morbid Musings (read at own risk)

I’m lying on my bed looking up at the ceiling. My eyes are not blinking. They are not blinking in order to allow the tears to flow more freely from my eyes on to my hands cupped over my ears. These hands, the only thing between my ears and the noises of something dying in the night, forgotten, ignored. Like so many things in this country, it is dying or crying in pain and hunger. I think it is a dog but I really couldn’t guess for sure, I’m trying not to hear it. But I can’t not hear it and it will only be worse when it stops. For some reason this is the last straw in my quest to be unaffected by the things I see every day. The children with the wastes the size of my wrist and the sad eyes and dirty hands pressed up to me as if I was the savior they had been waiting for. There are some things in this world that you cannot, nor should not get used to no matter how often you see it, or hear it, or experience it. Poverty and suffering is one of these things. I thought coming to this placed to help would be better; I thought that volunteering for the cause would make that feeling in my stomach go away. Like when I was travelling as a student, I thought to myself how useless it was to be learning all these things when outside people were dying. I thought coming instead to work in the field would be easier. But it’s so much worse. You see more; hear more than any sane person can really take. You listen to a 13 year old who lives in a trash pile behind your office explain how his parents died from aids two years ago and last mouth the funding ran out on the program that was paying for his tuition and now he has nothing, can I pay for his tuition? Someone much colder than me told me he must be lying. I asked them why that would possibly matter. Like this boy is running some major scam, living in trash for two months, not eating, really getting into character just to politely ask for my help. And every day there are just more and more people suffering and how could I possibly think I could help them? It’s not that I’m not doing anything worthwhile; I really think that I am. I’m planning a youth outreach next month on HIV prevention and its going pretty well. It’s just that you can’t avoid being affected by the 12 year old prostitutes with their children and the women with bruises on their faces from their husband’s fists and the men all out of work lying in the street with nothing better to do than take drugs. The dog in the street has stopped crying and I take my hands from my ears. All that fills the air now is a tragic silence; somehow this silence seems much louder than the noise. The thick, oppressive air vibrates slightly, usually a sign it’s about to rain, but the sky is clear, and the infinite specks of light shine down on the roofs of Mombasa.

In the beginning… there were jokes

There is a running joke at my work involving me and any number of my male coworkers. The jokes are if not exactly PC in the American way they are at least inoffensive. This is because the organization is Apparently( I emphasize apparently because it was not apparent to me at all for awhile) a faith-based organization. This actually has no bearing on my work here but is interesting because it explains why the jokes are really pretty harmless. They run along the lines of so-and-so wanting to marry me. That’s pretty much it. There are fake wedding dates and my dowry is discussed at length. Will I need it all at once? hahaha. When I meet your parents? hahaha. As such it took me two weeks to figure out which were the jokes and which were genuine invitations. (Tip: A dead giveaway of a real invitation is being asked to someone’s church) I have had several invitations and I can’t really decide which one I should go to first. Will it be rude to go to one persons and not another’s? People here ask me what religion I am. After listening to the stories of my fellow interns who answered this question I congratulate myself for deciding to lie. After one or two attempts at trying to explain what Quakerism I gave up and am now simply a “saved” person. I had no clue what this meant when I was asked the first time. “Are you saved”? Saved? Saved from what? Oh right! Eternal damnation in the hellfire right… I forgot, yeah sure I’m safe, I mean saved. Yeah that’s me, Saved! Not that there’s anything wrong with devotion, it just tends to throw me when strangers ask if I have accepted the savior the way some people ask how I take me tea. ‘Oh so you’re here for 5 months? Wow, yeah and you stay on the north side of the city you say, ah yes. Very good. Very good. And have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior? Yes oh good good. Is this enough suger? Ok ok, sawa sawa. Its not as if I were to say “no I’m not religious” as a spontaneous angry mob with torches shows up. It just saves a lot of confusion just saying yes to most anything asked of you. Are you Christian? Yes. Do you enjoy the  here? Uhh yes.  hot today ? Yes.  Julie  Somebodies name  married , right? Sure why not. See! It’s just much easier. It’s at about this time that it dawned on the audience why Julie was always accidentally agreeing to do things she has no knowledge of. Oh well.

Productivity

Someone once asked me what a typical day at my office is like. I was hesitant to answer the question as I thought it might make me look lazy or inhibited, but really that is only like 30% of the problem. I’ll give an example, shall I? I’m at a computer fiddling around with the extremely important and official pamphlet I am currently making when ahem a computer is need by someone with something much more vital to do. There are a few computers in the office, about a third as many computers as people who wish to use them. I move to a table to write some notes on activities I will be doing. Ah excuse me are you using that pen? I am told it’s within the realm of etiquette to take things from people’s hands with minimal preamble, papers, pens, this notebook, a sandwich. So it’s no big deal right? But it does seem to happen an awful lot. To be fair I was warned of this phanonminon (disappearing pens) in the first week. Though this has somewhat put a damper on my productivity, I am not one to be deterred from listlessness when it is clearly both convenient and prudent for everyone involved. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they bring the pens back. Often three or four days later, but still it is nice to think that things return naturally to their place of origin. Breaking brightly into my life before being sucked back into the void where pens go to die. This is naturally part of the charm of working here, no resources, no accurate working knowledge or training on anything you are doing, and certainly no clue as to what you will be doing say tomorrow. Awesome. Hearing other interns talk about their organizations I came to realize that mine has considerably more resources and employees even though it’s not nearly enough (thanks Wal-Mart). Also said employees show up every day and such. Sure there is the occasional nap but if anything this boosts productivity considerably. In fact along with mandatory tea time, nap time will also become part of the work place norm during my revolution. Today I made a great stride, I finished a Needs Assessment that I had planned to finish last month. Hooray!!!